So, to my beautiful daughters, read this, and don't ever settle for anything less.
Dear Cutie-Pie,
Recently, your mother and I were searching for an
answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list
of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was
'How to keep him interested'.
It startled me. I scanned several of the countless
articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a
sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.
And I got angry.
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will
be your job to 'keep him interested'.
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your
soul — in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and
ego — that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else
is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that
is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be
attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who
is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of
his interest in you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who
doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are
interesting:
I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table
— as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And
then can’t stop looking.
I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me —
as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the
glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet — as long
as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
I don’t care if he is strong — as long as he gives you
the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.
I couldn’t care less how he votes — as long as he
wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and
a place of reverence in his heart.
I don’t care about the color of his skin — as long as
he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice,
and vulnerability, and tenderness.
I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that
religion or no religion — as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to
know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply
sacred.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man
like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most
important thing in common:
You.
Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you
should have to do to 'keep him interested' is to be you.
Your eternally interested guy,
Daddy
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