Tuesday, 20 April 2010

A Letter To My Daughter

Anna, you are my pride and joy. The happiness you have brought to my life cannot be replicated by anything on this earth. You are such a beautiful, spirited baby girl that I am so grateful to have been blessed with. You give me a smile every time I come in to pick you up. You laugh so much. You are so switched on. You surprise me every day.

You are such a gorgeous baby. Everyone says so. Everyone says your daddy and I have good genes – I say ‘I agree’. Your eyes sparkle, and your face glows when you smile. You are like sunshine.

I love that you are part of my story. Everyone has a story. If someone were to talk about me, they’d say “her name was Ashleigh Morris and she had a daughter named Anna”.

Anna, my dear, here are some things that make up your story, so far.
You have green eyes, just like Daddy. You like to sing – you lay on your rug and ‘la la la’ away. You are so determined – if something is out of reach you will wriggle and wriggle until you get there. Your Daddy calls you Anna Poos – I think because he’s never had to deal with so much poos before. You make him laugh. And he makes you laugh. He loves you so much. He’s a good dad.

I call you Angel. I feel like you are a miracle, an angel sent to me.

Pregnancy was not so kind to me, but I miss it so much, because you can’t get any closer to your child than when you’re pregnant. And I could always keep you safe.

You have an incredible set of lungs. You scream a lot. But I think that’s just because you have a lot to say. You don’t go down to sleep without a fight – but it doesn’t last long, you actually like your sleep.

You hate getting dressed. You’d stay naked all the time if I’d let you. You’ll play on the floor for hours if you’re in the nud. And you love bath time. I often bring you in the shower with me. And sometimes I fill the bath right up and you go for a swim. I could cuddle you forever.

You fart so much. It’s so funny. Sometimes you laugh at yourself when you fart. And they really smell. But it’s so funny that someone so small can produce such a putrid smell – it could clear a room. You’ll come to learn that farting is commonplace in this family.

You don’t like most of the foods we give you, but you love chicken and sweet corn puree. But most of all, you are a loyal breast-feeder. It’s something that I love too. Sometimes when you are feeding, you’ll stop and look up at me with a big smile. You’ll get distracted if I feed you in front of the TV, and then get upset that you can’t feed and watch the TV at the same time. When you’re feeding, you gently tickle my neck – you need something to fiddle with.

Sometimes, actually most of the time, you try to suck your thumb at the same time as feeding. I have to hold your hand to stop your thumb from slipping in your mouth. And when you’re really tired, you’ll come off from feeding and swap with your thumb. It makes me laugh. And you posit everywhere. You’re what’s called a ‘happy chucker’. Our house is just covered in chuck. Your hair is always stiff and stuck to your head every morning from the chuck. But you’ll grow out of it.

You get bored of your toys pretty quickly, we have to give you new things to play with all the time. You have a whole box full of toys. You love to touch and explore new things. You like the TV because it has so many colours and sounds.

You love me and Daddy so much. You love our cuddles, kisses and play time. I think we’re good parents. But I think that’s because you’re such a good baby. I believe that having a baby is a gift, not a given. I feel blessed that you are my daughter. Being a parent is the best thing in life. You have changed my life, for the best.

Your father and I are struggling. Times are really tough. I now know why my father cried for a week when I told him I was pregnant with you. Your Pa loves you so much - from the day he saw you on the ultrasound picture saying ‘Hi Pa!’. Pa was worried we would have to struggle like he and my mother did. And I understand that now, because I never want you to have to struggle like we are.

But despite our hardships, you are like the silver lining on our storm cloud. Nothing else matters when you look at me and smile. I’m glad you don’t see this – you don’t really care what clothes you wear or whether the house is painted, or whether we can afford food from week to week. All you need is your parents' love. And that’s something that I can give you.

Your daddy and I are working hard to give you everything. All we care about is giving you the best life.

Anna, you are my whole world. You give me such incredible happiness. You have given me a real purpose in life. And I think you are the sole reason why I am still so positive through all of this. Thank you so much, my beautiful angel.

With love,
Mummy.x

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